Jolly Roger in a Pickup
Randall is Goo
Like, how many cans of soda do you drink a day?
Jolly Roger
Oh, about--
Randall is Goo (interrupting)
On average.
Jolly Roger
About twenty-one.
Randall's son, Hank, is sitting on the couch next to his father and adding numbers in the calculator app.
Jolly Roger
Walmart is the best place on Earth, man--me and Frank, we wear plastic fire chief's helmets when we race our bikes around the apartment, and we crashed into each other the other week, and now I drive my car to work. But I had got this huge bag of animal crackers at Walmart and I keep them in my car so I don't eat them all at once, but now most mornings, since I'm driving to work, I'm eating like two, three pounds of animal crackers at once, and my mouth gets super dry so I have to drink like, five, six cans of coke before I even get to work. I get these pulses in my arm and air-pockets in my chest all morning but I just can't help myself.
Randall is Goo
Caffeine-free? My nephew, uh, Clark runs, uh, ultra-marathons as a hobby which is beyond my comprehension. But I think he drinks caffeine-free.
Hank (talking to the phone)
Apple! Airplane! Alligator! Arm-wrestle!
Jolly Roger (to Hank)
Are we torturing you?
Randall is Goo
He's being normal right now... I didn't expect him to do this well.
Jolly Roger (to Hank)
You got any hidden talents?
Hank
I can count really fast!
Jolly Roger
Did you get taller?
Hank
I have ants. Like two-thousand ants in the aquarium at home, and a huge iguana cage on my floor.
Hank and Jolly Roger are making a fruit salad.
Jolly Roger
Oh, I like the way you're cutting those up.
Hank
Thanks. I've never done this before--I usually just bite little pieces off.
Jolly Roger
So you bite them off and then you spit them into the salad?
Hank
Yeah, it's faster that way... Do you have any apples?