Jolly Roger in a Pickup
Randall is Goo
Like, how many cans of soda do you drink a day?
Jolly Roger
Oh, about--
Randall is Goo (interrupting)
On average.
Jolly Roger
About twenty-one.
Randall's son is sitting on the couch and adding numbers in the calculator app.
Jolly Roger
Me and Frank, we wear plastic fire chief's helmets when we race our bikes around the apartment, and we crashed into each other last week, and now I drive my car to work. But I had got this huge bag of animal crackers at Walmart and--
Randall's son (interrupting)
Walmart is the best place on Earf.
Jolly Roger (continuing)
And I keep them in my car so I don't eat them all at once, but now most mornings, since I'm driving to work, I'm eating like two pounds of animal crackers at once--my mouth gets super dry, and so, I have to drink like six cans of pop before I even get to work. Gives me these pulses in my chest all mornin'.
Randall is Goo
My nephew, uh, Clark runs, uh, ultra-marathons as a hobby, which is beyond my comprehension, but I think, uh, he drinks caffeine-free.
Randall's son (talking at the phone)
Apple! Airplane! Alligator! Arm-wrestle!
Jolly Roger (to Randall's son)
Are we torturing you?
Randall is Goo
He's being normal right now... I didn't expect him to do this well.
Jolly Roger (to Randall's son)
You got any hidden talents?
Randall's son
I can count super fast!
Jolly Roger
Did you get taller?
Randall's son
I have ants. Like two-thousand ants in the aquarium at home, and a huge iguana cage on my floor.
Randall's son and Jolly Roger are making a fruit salad in the kitchen.
Jolly Roger
Oh, I like the way you're cutting those up.
Randall's son
Thank you! I've never done this before--I usually just bite little pieces off.
Jolly Roger
So you bite them off and then you spit them into the salad?
Randall's son
Yeah, it's faster that way...